Piyavagga: Dear Ones (Affection)

I have noted some benefit coming out of my personal challenge to blog daily. And it isn’t that I am now more familiar with the Dhammapada than I ever had been before, although there is benefit in that, to be sure. No, the benefit I am experiencing is subtle, and yet profound. Because when I began this self-imposed task, I had only recently said goodbye to my partner. If I were to retreat in anyway as a reaction to his leaving the country, it made sense to retreat into the Dhamma, to seek refuge.

By sticking to this task of blogging daily about each chapter in the Dhammapada, I have diverted my sorrow into something more positive. It’s still there, but it feels diffused because I didn’t give it the opportunity to fester and build. And in the process, I’ve been able to sort through my feelings, my attachments. I have been able to contemplate in a way my relationship with someone very dear to me and face what goes on internally when separation occurs.

This sounds so analytical, so clinical, so unfeeling; but I assure you, it has been anything but a dissociative experience. One thing I can say is that this has been eye-opening. I have contemplated love in ways I never have before. I can remember my first experiences with men and at that time love was instantaneous and filled with infatuation. It was an all or nothing endeavor that often left me feeling like a gutted corpse. But slowly, painfully, this addictive behavior (we say things like “I need you, I got to have you, I can’t live without you!” My god, we could be just as well be talking about Vicodin) gave way to something more appreciative, more like the true kind of loving kindness, metta, that the Buddha talked about.

And so it is with a very different pair of eyes that I approach the Piyavagga today than, let’s say, nine years ago when I first encountered the Dhamma.

“Having applied himself
to what was not his own task,
and not having applied himself
to what was,
having disregarded the goal
to grasp at what he held dear,
he now envies those
who kept after themselves,
took themselves
to task.”

I’m not envious of those who have taken up vows, who have followed a monastic path. But I do wonder with greater frequency what bliss they have found that would cause them to give up on this wonderful and painful but beautifully sensual life.

“Don’t ever — regardless —
be conjoined with what’s dear
or undear.
It’s painful
not to see what’s dear
or to see what’s not.

So don’t make anything dear,
for it’s dreadful to be far
from what’s dear.
No bonds are found
for those for whom
there’s neither dear
nor undear.”

Not for a minute do I believe these verses to be telling me that not making anything dear means not to love anything or anyone. In this context, I believe the word “dear” is being used to mean something that is so valued that I must have it, I cannot be separated from it. So I can love someone and not be selfishly possessive. As Elton John sang, “butterflies are free to fly, fly away, high away, bye bye.”

The next set of verses are somewhat difficult to interpret usefully.

“From what’s dear is born grief,
from what’s dear is born fear.
For one freed from what’s dear
there’s no grief
— so how fear?

From what’s loved is born grief,
from what’s loved is born fear.
For one freed from what’s loved
there’s no grief
— so how fear?

From delight is born grief,
from delight is born fear.
For one freed from delight
there’s no grief
— so how fear?

From sensuality is born grief,
from sensuality is born fear.
For one freed from sensuality
there’s no grief
— so how fear?

From craving is born grief,
from craving is born fear.
For one freed from craving
there’s no grief
— so how fear?”

I get the idea of being freed from craving, freed from sensuality, and even freed from delight, or that is a bit more difficult. Does being freed from delight mean that I no longer feel that bubbly emotion we call delight? Does it mean I cannot delight is a lovely poem? A beautiful sunset.? A kind gesture? And when it comes to the idea of being freed from what’s dear, from what’s loved is more difficult. Am I free from Benny because he’s gone? And does that mean I stop loving him? This is a bit more knotty.

The notion of delight, or affection, gets turned around a bit in the final verses. For example, look at the last verses.

“A man long absent
comes home safe from afar.
His kin, his friends, his companions,
delight in his return.

In just the same way,
when you’ve done good
& gone from this world
to the world beyond,
your good deeds receive you —
as kin, someone dear
come home.”

In this example, the fact that a man’s return after a long absence to his kin, friends, etc., brings delight to these people is used as a positive to demonstrate the rewards one can experience by doing good: after death, the merit gathered welcomes you as if a long lost friend. Obviously, in the first part the people described held great affection for the returning man; they held him dearly. That’s a good thing, because it is used as a literary method to explain the workings of kamma and the accumulation of merit in our lives.

So it would seem to be a fine line between the type of “holding someone dear” that is infatuation or obsession, and this which is loving-kindness, a type of affection that is nurturing and non-binding rather than clinging and dependent.

When I think about it, I have to wonder, how can you have happiness without some type of object that is the source of that happiness? Or at least the catalyst for that happiness? The Buddha taught that all states of being are conditioned upon a prior state of being or condition. But Nibbana is an unconditioned state even though I cannot attain it unless I break all conditions, which is a condition itself.

Alright, I’m getting dizzy. Suffice it to say that I believe in love.

Sukhavagga: Happiness

The focus of the Sukhavagga is the happiness one feels when living according to the Dhamma. It’s a very straight-forward chapter that doesn’t take a lot of contemplation. It’s simplicity and clarity helps deliver the message that life is filled with all kinds of discomfort, but this can be avoided by living skillfully in the Dhamma.

“How very happily we live,
free from hostility
among those who are hostile.
Among hostile people,
free from hostility we dwell.

How very happily we live,
free from misery
among those who are miserable.
Among miserable people,
free from misery we dwell.

How very happily we live,
free from busyness
among those who are busy.
Among busy people,
free from busyness we dwell.

How very happily we live,
we who have nothing.
We will feed on rapture
like the Radiant gods.”

These first verses can strike one as being so childlike that it almost sounds like a vicious tease. “I know you’re miserable, but what am I? I’m happy!” But the Sukhavagga really isn’t leading with the chin. It’s just a simple message: there’s a lot of pain and suffering in the world, and you can live among it without being of it.

The competitiveness of the world is laid out clearly as well in the next verse.

“Winning gives birth to hostility.
Losing, one lies down in pain.
The calmed lie down with ease,
having set
winning & losing
aside.”

Achievement is not the same as winning, and if I can learn how to view accomplishments as achievement rather than winning, which implies somebody losing, I don’t fall sway to my ego. This is a tough attitude to develop because the business world is all about winning.

I don’t see the need to spend a lot of time on this chapter, so I’ll skip to the last set of verses.

It’s good to see Noble Ones.
Happy their company — always.
Through not seeing fools
constantly, constantly
one would be happy.

For, living with a fool,
one grieves a long time.
Painful is communion with fools,
as with an enemy —
always.
Happy is communion
with the enlightened,
as with a gathering of kin.

So:
the enlightened man —
discerning, learned,
enduring, dutiful, noble,
intelligent, a man of integrity:
follow him
— one of this sort —
as the moon, the path
of the zodiac stars.”

What I get out of these verses is how important it is that I surround myself with good people, with true friends. It may mean that I don’t surround myself with a lot of people; in fact, I might have very few close friends. But the Buddha in many teachings emphasized how important is the company we keep in terms of staying on the path. And the further along the path we go, the more discerning we become.

Not every moment is filled with happiness for me. In fact, right now is a very difficult time for me. But I would never abandon my practice because it is the one thing I can count on to help me get through all this.

Buddhavagga: Awakened

I’m feeling better today, albeit just slightly. There is still a lot of emotional shit I need to deal with and resolve, or at the least come to terms with. These things happen, and I am frankly very thankful that I have challenged myself to blog daily about the Dhammapada. It gives me something to focus on and pull myself out of my maudlin moods. I’ve never been called a queen, but thankfully, I resisted pulling out the Judy cds.

Reading the Buddhavagga makes me feel more optimistic (however, notice that my state of mind continues to be dependent on external stimuli, in this case, a chapter in the Dhammapada). The first set of verses inspire that optimism by reminding me that the Buddha was an enlightened being, and in his teachings I can place my unwavering trust.

“Whose conquest can’t be undone,
whose conquest no one in the world
can reach;
awakened, his pasture endless,
pathless:
by what path will you lead him astray?

In whom there’s no craving
— the sticky ensnarer —
to lead him anywherever at all;
awakened, his pasture endless,
pathless:
by what path will you lead him astray?”

Indeed, craving is a “sticky ensnarer.” The fact the Buddha had gone beyond that (this isn’t faith, it’s a fact) instills confidence and encourages my perseverance. Skipping a verse, I come to a set that also comfort me with the knowledge that sometimes my whining is not without justification.

“Hard the winning of a human birth.
Hard the life of mortals.
Hard the chance to hear the true Dhamma.
Hard the arising of Awakened Ones.”

The hackneyed retort of “life sucks and then you die” is more than just a sarcastic quip that has found its place in the day-to-day lexicon. It is, in fact, the truth. But understanding this doesn’t mean I cave into endless feelings of remorse or melancholy. It means that the hardships I deal with are only different in content from what everybody else deals with. We all have to deal with it, we all have the choice to act with skill or be guided by greed, hatred and delusion.

Some may say it was chance that a past boyfriend of mine introduced me to Buddhism, but I am more inclined to believe that it was my kamma. Whether it was good or ill, things that I have done in this life as well as in prior lives brought themselves together into a force of direction that led me to that Dhammasala where I met my teacher. I was made aware that the place existed, and that this monk had said something while I was visiting that stuck with me. So a year later when the bottom of my bucket fell out, I instantly knew what to do: I drove the 90 minutes back to that Dhammasala and sought out that monk.

“The non-doing of any evil,
the performance of what’s skillful,
the cleansing of one’s own mind:
this is the teaching
of the Awakened.

Patient endurance:
the foremost austerity.
Unbinding:
the foremost,
so say the Awakened.
He who injures another
is no contemplative.
He who mistreats another,
no monk.

Not disparaging, not injuring,
restraint in line with the Patimokkha,
moderation in food,
dwelling in seclusion,
commitment to the heightened mind:
this is the teaching
of the Awakened.”

It’s easy to dismiss the above verses as pertaining only to monks, but to do so would mean missing some points that are important for laypeople as well. Such as the focus on simply the “non-doing of any evil,” and the effort on being skillful. By putting effort into these activities, which are at the heart of the Four Right Efforts, we cleanse our minds. It takes practice. I can’t call myself a Buddhist if all I do is read a lot of clever books and listen to inspiring speakers; Buddhism is a practice, a way of life. I have to live it. So I work at not disparaging others (really hard for me) and not injuring others (very easy for me as I abhor violence), and show moderation in my food and drink consumption (also quite difficult for me because I love good food and wine). To accomplish that, I occasionally, though not frequently enough, examine the Five Hindrances to see which one(s) are problematic for me at the moment, then work more diligently at cultivating the opposite.

“Not even if it rained gold coins
would we have our fill
of sensual pleasures.
‘Stressful,
they give little enjoyment’ —
knowing this, the wise one
finds no delight
even in heavenly sensual pleasures.
He is one who delights
in the ending of craving,
a disciple of the Rightly
Self-Awakened One.”

I wouldn’t mind some gold coins raining on my life, but it’s still true, a windfall would not erase my troubles, just replace my present troubles with different ones. Ah, but to experience those different troubles!

“They go to many a refuge,
to mountains and forests,
to park and tree shrines:
people threatened with danger.
That’s not the secure refuge,
not the supreme refuge,
that’s not the refuge,
having gone to which,
you gain release
from all suffering & stress.

But when, having gone
to the Buddha, Dhamma,
& Sangha for refuge,
you see with right discernment
the four noble truths —
stress,
the cause of stress,
the transcending of stress,
& the noble eightfold path,
the way to the stilling of stress:
that’s the secure refuge,
that, the supreme refuge,
that is the refuge,
having gone to which,
you gain release
from all suffering & stress.”

These verses are so inspiring for me. Granted, I tend to “seek refuge” when I’m frightened and want a bit of protection. But regardless of the motivation, it’s the right thing to do, and each time, a bit more is absorbed and brought into my life.

Skipping to the last verse, I find something of value, but something that bugs me as well.

“If you worship those worthy of worship,
— Awakened Ones or their disciples —
Who’ve transcended
complications,
lamentation,
& grief,
who are unendangered,
fearless,
unbound:
there’s no measure for reckoning
that your merit’s ‘this much.’”

First, what bugs me. “If you worship those worthy of worship …” This is a case of when I disagree with Thanissaro Bhikkhu’s translation, because Buddhism has got nothing to do with worshipping anything. So the translation by Acharya Buddharakkhita is more appropriate to the verse’s meaning: “He who reveres those worthy of reverence …”

What is of value here is that the verse reveals that one’s reverence need not be limited to the Buddha himself, but can be extended to his disciples. So finding a teacher that teaches the true Dhamma and is skilled with his or her own instruction is a blessing of great magnitude that should not be ignored. This reminds me of a song from “The Sound of Music,” when Julie Andrews sings, “Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good.”

That lyric is the essence of merit. And the fact that I was led to my teacher must mean that somewhere in my past, whether it be this life or a previous life, regardless of how wicked I might have been, I had done something worthy of merit and that led me to the Dhamma.

That is no small thing. And it can be said of all of us who have found Buddhism. We are extraordinarily fortunate to have the opportunity to learn the Buddha’s teachings and to practice them. But that’s the key, it’s just an opportunity. The rest is work we must do.